[Sometime after reuniting with Phainon, and after revealing the "truth" to Mydei, the weight of the duty now on her shoulders seems to sink in. Unlike the other two heirs, she and Cyrene knew the truth of what was to come. And so, how to address that — or not address it, was crucial.
A gap between their story was only going to make things worse.
Perhaps that's why, early one morning, Castorice approaches Cyrene's door. Ordinarily, it would be a short walk, given that they had chosen to room near each other. Instead, Castorice had deigned to prepare tea for them first, and makes the venture from the kitchen instead.
Her knock is light, careful, and followed by her voice.]
[At this point, Castorice doesn't think she'll ever get used to the warm way that Cyrene greets her, nor the sheer joy her presence evokes. Even if their time together had been almost nothing at all, adoration wells within her at even a glance. And that's to say nothing about how Cyrene speaks to her.
But she's getting distracted. She smiles through the heat in her cheeks and enters the room. She does her best not to look too closely at anything, lest she come off as trying to spy. She can't deny that a part of her does want to see how Cyrene has been living, though.
Instead, she sets the tray down and turns back to her friend wit ha little bow.]
I hope I am not interrupting anything important. I will admit that my visit is not entirely companionable. [Even if she might wish otherwise.] There was something I wanted to discuss with you as well.
[At the moment, there's nothing really much there in the room to catch one's eye, especially so for a girl trying oh so very hard not to look. It's tidy but sparse, though she did seem to have acquired some flowers that she'd placed nicely by the windowsill, and there's a notebook and pen on the table that looks distinctly different from the uniform one they'd all received to communicate with each other.]
I can only assume it's the same thing that's been on my mind lately, as well. The conundrum of our dear friends and their distinct lack of memories...?
[Cyrene gestures for Castorice to join her in sitting down with their tea.]
[Each individual piece, no matter how small, is carefully catalogued. The flowers, at least, will help later. Castorice can collect a bouquet or five over the course of the next few weeks and present them each to Cyrene. If she times it right, she'll do it just as the flowers begin to decay.
Or perhaps finding seeds would be better, and beginning a garden?
... It takes her a moment to realize how off track she's gotten — about as long as it takes for Cyrene to motion for her to sit. She does as she's told, taking a cup for herself from the tray. With a free hand, she motions to the accompanying cream and sugar.]
I was not sure how you took your tea. I will remember for next time, though.
[And now, to the topic at hand. Does it flatter her that Cyrene reads her so easily? Or concern her that it's so obvious.]
You are correct, though. I wanted to ensure that we had our stories straight as to what we reveal. I can imagine that you are of the same frame of mind — neither Lord Mydei nor Lord Phainon should hear about what is to come.
[Oh, don't worry too hard about it Castorice, she just spent over 30 million cycles lovingly studying you and your every move, is all.]
So considerate~.
[While Castorice speaks she takes the time to fix her tea to her liking — after taking a small whiff to determine what kind of blend it might be, she elects for a little bit of sugar and no cream. She may be as sweet as can be, but she likes a little bit of a bitterness from time to time. After all, like in any good tale, sweet and bitter go hand in hand to make each other taste all the better, do they not?
Before responding, she takes an appreciatory sip, and admires its warmth in her hands.]
Should they ask pressing questions and beg for answers, I am reluctant to keep things from them. But I am of the mind they should not have to carry more than they ought to, yes.
I have vaguely explained my role as Mem to Mydei by necessity, but nothing of the finer details of everything that has happened.
[Meanwhile Castorice, silently bemoaning the fact that she had precious little time to do the same. What's a little silent, sapphic yearning between friends, right? Said yearning does indeed cataloguing how said tea is doctored. She notes the scant amount of sugar almost down to the granule.
Next time, Cyrene's tea will be prepared just so.]
I feel much the same. Though I am afraid that the... influence of this place has already made things difficult. [Guilt plagues her as she glances off toward a corner of the room.] Phainon witnessed a memory of one of my deaths at his hand. And Lord Mydei wished to know why my own hands did not harm him.
[She reaches for her own cup, hands fitfully toying with it but not yet lifting.]
To them both, I promised that Era Nova was at hand, that everything would be alright, and that I held nothing against Phainon in particular.
[A but hangs in the air, unspoken. She worries that it will not be enough, that it will only be a matter of time before more questions are asked.]
[Cyrene frowns, idly swirling the tea in her cup.]
It's like this place knew there were things we'd very much rather keep to ourselves right now... Phainon's going to be repeating that scene in his head no matter what we reassure him of.
[s i g h]
I've thought about seeing what I could do to restore their memories rather than relying on potential explanations, as entwined with Remembrance as I am. But... I can't help but feel guilty, like I would be hurting them by doing so.
[One hand moves to her hair, twisting and fiddling her white lock around her fingers.]
It's a rather rough position we've found ourselves in, isn't it?
[The idea has Castorice troubled, to say the least. She can't say she disagrees with Cyrene — even if their memories were restored up until Era Nova, it would invoke an exceeding amount of pain, especially on Phainon's part. At least now, there was a level of plausible deniability.
On the other hand, though, they were essentially lying to their friends. The thought makes her uneasy, to say the least.]
It is. Considering all I have heard of this place, I suspect that is very much intentional. [What better way to strain bonds than to sow the seeds of doubt.] But if it is alright with you... allowing them to live in denial a little longer seems a kinder solution.
[Castorice knows far too much about tender mercies in the face of tragedy after all.]
Giving them small details — telling Lord Mydei that there are small miracles on the other side. [She holds her hand up as an example.] That should suffice for the time being. I have... been likening it to sweetening a child's medicine.
They might not understand, it might even frustrate them given enough time, but ultimately I think you're right. When all pieces of the puzzle come to light... they'll understand why we wanted to let them hold on to the past for just a little while longer.
[She takes another gentle sip of her tea, staring down into the liquid with a heart full of stormy contemplation.]
As odd as this place is, at least it can be a respite from the burden of their responsibilities. If they know everything will be alright in the end... they can put down the weight of the world for just a moment.
Even if the future is worth fighting for, it is different. And it came at a great cost.
[She holds Cyrene's gaze for a moment, briefly mournful. It wasn't just Phainon that lost something, after all.]
Of all people, they deserve the most rest. They have both fought, in their own ways, for a very long time. I would much rather them resent me for holding fragments of the truth back for their sake, than to disturb this little bit of rest they now have.
[Now, more than ever, she understands why her sister made the sacrifices she did. Giving up divinity for the sake of saving something precious made all the more sense, especially these days.]
[Words repeated so many times over the many cycles, and here she will say them herself once more. Please don't mourn for her, Castorice...]
But I am in full agreement with you, my dear Castorice. Maybe we can even get them to stop worrying so much and just enjoy being themselves for once — perhaps without all the burdens, they can even finally say all the things they've left unsaid for so long. Wouldn't that be lovely?
[How many times had they told themselves that? Castorice had lost count. But every time, there had come a promise, the idea of a tomorrow at the end of the west wind, in the sea of flowers that she herself tended.
Yet even Castorice, servant of the afterlife, could not offer that.
It did not feel fair. So much so, that she cannot bring herself to respond to the sentiment. Not right now.]
We can only hope.
[Though she sounds a bit distracted still, a smile still ghosts across her lips. She thinks back to some of her poems, and then manages a bit of a laugh.]
I think, even if the road they have walked has been shorter, they deserve each other in this time. I will have to hope they manage to find the words. Or... [Her eyes glint.] Perhaps we ought to pull some strings behind the scenes?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
breaks this thang in
A gap between their story was only going to make things worse.
Perhaps that's why, early one morning, Castorice approaches Cyrene's door. Ordinarily, it would be a short walk, given that they had chosen to room near each other. Instead, Castorice had deigned to prepare tea for them first, and makes the venture from the kitchen instead.
Her knock is light, careful, and followed by her voice.]
Miss Cyrene, do you have some time to spare?
no subject
All the time in the world for you, dear Castorice.
[Her gaze then casts downward, noticing that the other woman had her hands quite full, and she immediately steps aside to hold the door open wide.]
Oh, let me get out of your way! There's a table right by the window.
no subject
But she's getting distracted. She smiles through the heat in her cheeks and enters the room. She does her best not to look too closely at anything, lest she come off as trying to spy. She can't deny that a part of her does want to see how Cyrene has been living, though.
Instead, she sets the tray down and turns back to her friend wit ha little bow.]
I hope I am not interrupting anything important. I will admit that my visit is not entirely companionable. [Even if she might wish otherwise.] There was something I wanted to discuss with you as well.
no subject
I can only assume it's the same thing that's been on my mind lately, as well. The conundrum of our dear friends and their distinct lack of memories...?
[Cyrene gestures for Castorice to join her in sitting down with their tea.]
no subject
Or perhaps finding seeds would be better, and beginning a garden?
... It takes her a moment to realize how off track she's gotten — about as long as it takes for Cyrene to motion for her to sit. She does as she's told, taking a cup for herself from the tray. With a free hand, she motions to the accompanying cream and sugar.]
I was not sure how you took your tea. I will remember for next time, though.
[And now, to the topic at hand. Does it flatter her that Cyrene reads her so easily? Or concern her that it's so obvious.]
You are correct, though. I wanted to ensure that we had our stories straight as to what we reveal. I can imagine that you are of the same frame of mind — neither Lord Mydei nor Lord Phainon should hear about what is to come.
no subject
So considerate~.
[While Castorice speaks she takes the time to fix her tea to her liking — after taking a small whiff to determine what kind of blend it might be, she elects for a little bit of sugar and no cream. She may be as sweet as can be, but she likes a little bit of a bitterness from time to time. After all, like in any good tale, sweet and bitter go hand in hand to make each other taste all the better, do they not?
Before responding, she takes an appreciatory sip, and admires its warmth in her hands.]
Should they ask pressing questions and beg for answers, I am reluctant to keep things from them. But I am of the mind they should not have to carry more than they ought to, yes.
I have vaguely explained my role as Mem to Mydei by necessity, but nothing of the finer details of everything that has happened.
no subject
Next time, Cyrene's tea will be prepared just so.]
I feel much the same. Though I am afraid that the... influence of this place has already made things difficult. [Guilt plagues her as she glances off toward a corner of the room.] Phainon witnessed a memory of one of my deaths at his hand. And Lord Mydei wished to know why my own hands did not harm him.
[She reaches for her own cup, hands fitfully toying with it but not yet lifting.]
To them both, I promised that Era Nova was at hand, that everything would be alright, and that I held nothing against Phainon in particular.
[A but hangs in the air, unspoken. She worries that it will not be enough, that it will only be a matter of time before more questions are asked.]
no subject
[Cyrene frowns, idly swirling the tea in her cup.]
It's like this place knew there were things we'd very much rather keep to ourselves right now... Phainon's going to be repeating that scene in his head no matter what we reassure him of.
[s i g h]
I've thought about seeing what I could do to restore their memories rather than relying on potential explanations, as entwined with Remembrance as I am. But... I can't help but feel guilty, like I would be hurting them by doing so.
[One hand moves to her hair, twisting and fiddling her white lock around her fingers.]
It's a rather rough position we've found ourselves in, isn't it?
no subject
On the other hand, though, they were essentially lying to their friends. The thought makes her uneasy, to say the least.]
It is. Considering all I have heard of this place, I suspect that is very much intentional. [What better way to strain bonds than to sow the seeds of doubt.] But if it is alright with you... allowing them to live in denial a little longer seems a kinder solution.
[Castorice knows far too much about tender mercies in the face of tragedy after all.]
Giving them small details — telling Lord Mydei that there are small miracles on the other side. [She holds her hand up as an example.] That should suffice for the time being. I have... been likening it to sweetening a child's medicine.
no subject
[She takes another gentle sip of her tea, staring down into the liquid with a heart full of stormy contemplation.]
As odd as this place is, at least it can be a respite from the burden of their responsibilities. If they know everything will be alright in the end... they can put down the weight of the world for just a moment.
no subject
[She holds Cyrene's gaze for a moment, briefly mournful. It wasn't just Phainon that lost something, after all.]
Of all people, they deserve the most rest. They have both fought, in their own ways, for a very long time. I would much rather them resent me for holding fragments of the truth back for their sake, than to disturb this little bit of rest they now have.
[Now, more than ever, she understands why her sister made the sacrifices she did. Giving up divinity for the sake of saving something precious made all the more sense, especially these days.]
no subject
[Words repeated so many times over the many cycles, and here she will say them herself once more. Please don't mourn for her, Castorice...]
But I am in full agreement with you, my dear Castorice. Maybe we can even get them to stop worrying so much and just enjoy being themselves for once — perhaps without all the burdens, they can even finally say all the things they've left unsaid for so long. Wouldn't that be lovely?
no subject
Yet even Castorice, servant of the afterlife, could not offer that.
It did not feel fair. So much so, that she cannot bring herself to respond to the sentiment. Not right now.]
We can only hope.
[Though she sounds a bit distracted still, a smile still ghosts across her lips. She thinks back to some of her poems, and then manages a bit of a laugh.]
I think, even if the road they have walked has been shorter, they deserve each other in this time. I will have to hope they manage to find the words. Or... [Her eyes glint.] Perhaps we ought to pull some strings behind the scenes?